encounter with nostalgia

I had an interview at 1300h with The Bridge TTC, who are based in Cecil Sharp House, on the corner of regents Park Road. To allow plenty of time I left home at 1130h. Tubes were very quick, and I got to Camden Town just after mid-day, so decided to go for a stroll along the Outer Circle, and up to Primrose Hill. Most nostalgic, bringing back many memories of the year I lived at 109 Regents Park Road.

A view from the bottom of Primrose Hill. Regents Park Road runs
round the right of the park. The top end (with 109) is just to the
right of the blocks of flats in the centre of the picture.

The green building is 109 Regents Park Road. The shop on the ground floor is still occupied by Ian Mankin (who sells expensive fabrics) as it was back in 1980-81 when I lived there. The colour of the front has been through several incarnations: it was red when I lived there, and subsequently a dark blue.

Interview

I arrived around 1250 after ny nostalgic stroll, and was shown in immediately. A chat, intro to the orhganisation (2 permanent staff plus p/t admin, special feature: acting teaching catering to a postgrad/post-experience market, so having a broad range of ages among the students. Teaching using a pool of practitioners.)

They asked for ideas on marketing the course – I think I did well on this, and on the website / IT questions. This was followed by a quite unexpected practical test! My typing is shit, although I was assured that the typing test was not that important. However, being faced with designing a flyer in Quark was very strange – I haven’t used Quark since I installed in on the Mac at Rothes Halls, which must be at least nine years ago! I cobbled something up, and was fairly happy with the colours and general feel of the flyer, but it did take a while to remember stuff. This was a slightly trick question – although details of the play and venue had been supplied, no contact tdetails to buy tickets were given. I asked about this, and think this was a brownie point to me. The final thing was to do a letter to an agent inviting them to the end-of-year show. I don’t think that I did well on this – to be honest, it’s the kind of thing that I normally spend several hours over getting right the first time, and then use as a mailmerge form letter almost forever after!

There was then a show-round: basically, they have two large halls in the semi-basement, plus a small coffee bar etc, plus a pair of linked offices up half a set of stairs. It is probably somewhere that I could enjoy working – but I think I won’t get the job: in an organisation of 2 1/2 permanent staff, personalities are important, and I think that I may have come across as a bit scary and slightly too used to larger organisations (though I did explain that both Hampstead Theatre and Donmar Sales were pretty small-scale). I expect to hear by the middle of next week, anyway.

Later

I’d arranged to meet Mark (from TW4) in First Out for a coffee and chat at 1730. I had just enough time to go home and change out of a suit into summer clothes (warm sunny day), and get into town. We had a good chat, as always, but were obviously both pretty tired! Left First Out around 1900h, and got home to finish making chicken soup and chill out a bit.

wonderful sunny day

Woke up rather late – not sure why, as I was asleep not long after two. A wonderful sunny day, almost no wind – the temperature in the garden is well into the sixties. The real start of spring, and the first time I’ve been inspired to be outside this year – well, I do always say that I avoid the garden between the start of October and the end of March! The lawn desperately needed mowing:

It was so long and damp that the first go just massacred it rather – I’ll give it a chance to dry out, and have a proper mow over the weekend if the weather holds.

The forsythia and the twisted prunus are both just at the end of their finest period – all the flowers are fully out, and one strong breeze will make many of them fall.

The twisted hazel has had catkins this year for the first time – I hope this bodes well for the future. It’s one of the plants that I got as a leaving present from Rothes Halls, back in 2001, and I’m pleased it’s decided to start growing up at last!

The Iberis in the top bed is just coming in to flower, looking a blinding white against its glossy dark-green leaves.

For me, this is more of a quintessential springtime plant than daffodils or other spring bulbs. Possibly because spring bulbs (except the ubiquitous feral hyacinth) never seem to survive in my garden … the last survivor of a bath of tulips I put in four years ago managed a fairly unimpressive flower (and another two of them have leaves but no flower)

visit to Oxford

Down to Oxford yesterday for Mum’s birthday. Jane – with some assistance from Theo and myself – made a jam sponge for birthday tea: I don’t think any of us really fancied the Chocolate Log that was in the cake-tin. Candles – one per completed decade: Mum was pretty insistent about not signalling her exact age. Is this because 76 is “late seventies”?

I actually managed to receive a phone call on my mobile just after I arrived – in the hall! Almost unheard-of: reception is usually very poor, and the only reliable place to make and recieve calls is in the attic bedrooms. This call was about an application I bunged in as part-time Administrator for “The Bridge” (Theatre/Acting training place”) – they’re based in Cecil Sharp House, #2 Regent’s Park Road … which is actually quite a long way from my old accommodation at Number 109! Interview on Weds 11th at 1300h – research about the place etc before then will be needed, as I don’t know a lot about them.

Went out to a lebanese restaurant in the evening – it was actually pretty good, though I could have done with more veggies. Chloe & Theo – both vegetarians – split houmus, falaffaels etc .. I had whitebait (not brilliant) followed by a kind of skewered chicken thing marinaded in olive oil, lemon, garlic, which was pretty good. As always, nearly everything was served with raw tomatoes – why everyone seems to do this I have no idea! People tell me that it’s “traditional”, but the tomato tradition in the UK certainly goes no further back than 100 years (Flora Thompson mentions her first taste of tomato in “Lark Rise to Candleford“), and I don’t think the “tradition” is actually much older around the mediterranean.

Mum & Jane shared a glass of wine (with a certain amount of spillage trying to pout it into two glasses), Chloe had a large glass of red. Well, she is 17 now, as I keep reminding myself!

Weds was a fairly lazy day: a walk along the road for me, and a trip to North Leigh garden centre (Mum has gone off Hilltop Nurseries at Ramsden big time, for some reason).

A very pleasant 24 hours. Mum seemed to be able to put Bam pretty much out of her mind for long periods, which was excellent (and a great relief to me: while obviously the situation is something we’re all concerned about, there are other things in life). We did chat about Bam for an hour and a half from 2300 onwards on Tues, though, after everyone else had gone to bed. It was great to see my neice and nephew again – it isn’t long since I saw Chloe, and she is growing up into quite an attractive young lady. I don’t feel that at present she’s interested in much academically – much like me at 17! Theo seemed pretty untalkative – not shy, just very much into doing things by himself. this a very much of a change over the past year: I guess he’s finding being 13 and all the stuff that goes with it a bit difficult – especially as he’s small for his age (as I was). But he’s good at being friendly with smiles and a couple of good hugs … I think there’s still some level of communication still that with him that works for both of us. I hope so – I’m extremely fond of all the kids!

As the mid-evening train no longer stops at Hanborough, Mum & Jane dropped me off at Charlbury to catch the 1915. As usual, return trips to London seemed doomed – the destination signs came to life and promised long delays due to signal failure. However, a cab turned up, saying that he had told to check for London-bound passengers and take them to Oxford to catch a fast train to town, so me and another guy took advantage of the offer. So I ended up catching the 2005 from Oxford, and got home not too late at 2200h Much much better than previous occasions of problems on that line!

visiting Bam

I went over to see Bam this afternoon. She seems to be settling down at home a little better than I’d thought – there have been numerous phone calls over the past few days, some of which have seemed as though she was losing some of the language and living skills that she had so painfully reacquired at the Brain Injury Unit (eg like asking me if I was bringing my cats with me to visit her).

We had a pleasant hour or so sitting in warm sunshine in the garden having tea. I then helped her check her e-mail (she does actually know what to do, but her laptop is VERY slow and she is far too impatient to let it run through the whole “start Windows, wait for anti-virus and stuff to check for updates and load, click on Outlook express, wait to connect on-line…). I do feel that her PC guy has not set the machine up at all well (as well as being desperately expensive), but she seems determined to stick to using him. As always, I won’t get involved: either I take responsibility for looking after a PC, or I leave it alone completely, as different people set things up in such different ways.

Bam was quite difficult as I was leaving – a bit clingy, and saying that she has no visitors. As her diary shows that she has at least one visitor every day for the next three weeks, this really doesn’t hold water. I think it’s probably to do with her boyfriend Paul being still very distant, and replying to her e-mails with simple one line notes: there’s something about her feeling abandoned and I’m sure that it has a level of emotional truth even if it doesn’t have literal truth. But it is really difficult … one of the things that really winds me up is when I get a load of grief about “why can’t I stay longer / come more often / etc” when I see people: it just makes me much less likely to risk visiting them again in order to avoid that kind of scene.


Toby called me this morning to ask if he can stay tomorrow night. Of course he’s welcome. I won’t be here: it’s Mum’s birthday and I’m planning to be down in Oxford (Jane & family except Toby will be there). However, the downside is that the flat needs cleaning … which will now have to be done before I go away.


Friends I had planned to attend the first of the six-week “Quaker Quest” introduction to the Society of Friends at Euston this evening. However, having to clean the flat, and feeling rather drawn through the knothole by visiting Bam, made me give this a miss. The next cycle starts on the first Monday in June, so I will try to make a point of getting to that one. I am becoming increasingly interested in the Quaker world, and the balance between individual informed conscience and some collective balance. I can’t say that Quaker is where I’ll end up, but am interested enough to find out more (it’s a couple of years since I first got their information pack, so it’s not exactly an impulse thing!).


Other stuff Tony has posted some stuff, and we’ve exchanged some more personal e-mails, about the tough time that his son Rob has been having at Cambridge. Some of it sounds rather like the end of my time at UEA thirty years ago. Best wishes to both of them, though it’s bound to take a while to sort out.

more catching up

A really really shitty day today: a sort of all-pervading dampness in the air. It’s a mild day, and with the heating on the temperature in the flat is around 22 C, but I ache all over. Little sleep last night – very bad referred pain in the balls and spasms in the back muscles – and even with max. doses of painkillers I caught only odd minutes of disturbed sleep for most of the night, finally taking another batch of painkillers around 0600h and falling asleep by 0700. Woke just before mid-day feeling like shit, still in a great deal of pain. Posting some more catching-up stuff may help take my mind off things!

So, I’ve posted a couple of things on dates in February, and here are some more random observations:


Smoking:

Friday 16th March saw the first anniversary of my giving up smoking. I do feel it as a major achievement: having smoked anywhere between 30 and 50 a day since my early teens, and having have a strong self-image as a smoker (“Nick, short for nicotine”), it has not been easy. The process is still going on, as I’m still using nicotine replacement inhalators (down to two cartridges a day – one first thing, one after supper), and value both the “things to do with my hands” and the mild nicotine kick. I know that I was “supposed” to only use NRT for six months, but we were told on the GMFA course I did that some people take a lot longer. Brother Simon is still using gum regularly, having given up at much the same time as I did.

More worrying is the expansion of waistline – my weight went up to eleven stone dead by Christmas, which puts my waist at over 32″ (actually, probably more, as I’m not able to do much to tone up the stomach muscles). I’ve been trying to keep a limit on it since the New Year, and seem to have stopped putting on more, but shifting any of the excess seems almost impossible. Maybe warmer spring weather will encourage me to get out and walk more regularly (I’m sure that exercise will help), and to eat more salads ‘n stuff, and fewer warming stews!

Last week I wore a suit for the first time since the autumn (I had to go and see Ealing pensions section) – all went well until I got home, when bending over to feed the cats caused the trouser button at the waist to “ping” off! On examination, the button is actually broken, so can’t be sewn back on … I suppose this is a tribute to the strength of the original stitching, but finding a replacement button will be a chore.


Sexual Orientation Regulations

The SOR were published on March 7th, debated and passed by the commons, and finally passed by the House of Lords on Weds 21st March, despite attempted fillibusters and disruptions by the forces of evil. The regulations are here. As I look back over the last forty years at the milestones, the progress and the setbacks, we have come so much further than I thought possible in the dark days of the introduction of Section 28, but society is still so far away from the true equality which looked possible in the heady days of the late 60’s. This, however, for me is the most significant legislation since the original 1967 Act: placing discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation in the same context as race, religion, disability is a final recognition of equality, and in that sense more significant than equalising the Age of Consent was, or even the introduction of Civil Partnerships fifteen months ago.

To whatever extent my own agitations, and letters to MPs etc, have helped the process, I can take modest pride in the achievements of all gay people and sympathisers on this, and feel more than ever that celebrating Pride in London this year is a worthwhile thing for me to continue to be involved in. But I think it important not to rest content with what has been achieved in the UK – as a supporter of the EU, I see it as vital that the former Eastern European countries (especially Poland) are made to conform to the Human Rights standards that the EU aspires to.

a lot of catching up

As usual I haven’t felt like posting anything over the winter (though I’ve gone back and stuck a couple of posts in in odd places). There’s something just terribly grey and amotivational about the damp and the darkness, something that saps the inner resources. However, it now feels as though spring is on the way (the forsythia and the twisted cherry are both in bloom), even though we had snow earlier this week. So here is a catch-up post – part one.

Christmas was OK. Mum collected Bam from the Brain Injury Unit mid-morning, came back here OK, lunch (which I cooked) was OK, sorting Bam out into a cab again to go back to the unit was just-about OK (she started panicking when the cab was three minutes late, but fortunately it turned up at four minutes past the booked time). But I felt too stressed, and had too much trouble with my back etc, to really get into the spirit of it … it all felt a bit flat, really. Things were probably not helped by a phone call from my father, who rang before lunch as I was starting to cook the vegetables (lousy timing as usual). We chatted for a few minutes, and he then talked to Mum for 20 minutes or so – apparently, he had not known that Bam had had an accident. He called back later that same evening – obviously he’d been shocked to hear of Bam’s accident, and had taken a while to digest it. Equally obviously, he had been drinking.

Post-Christmas, there was the usual bunch of schoolmates meeting in the Star at Stanton St John on Jan 7th Neither Andy Kay nor Tony Hedge could be there … Steve H turned up a bit later and we had a long and good talk: probably the first time we’ve had a sustained chat for many years. He has finally moved from Cowley, and is now living out in the Banbury direction – which may be encouraging if I move out there myself at some point. Interesting chat about the merits ort otherwise of living with one’s partner – although he moved from what had been his mother’s house in order to set up home with his girlfriend, in fact they have ended up not moving in together: something he seemed to think was unusual, but I think is laudable, if that’s what works for them. actually, it sounds an ideal arrangement to me!

I’ve retrospectively stuck a couple of posts in January, based on e-mails about my activities …

Theatre West Four

Back in January, there was a post on OUT asking for anyone interested in volunteering to stage manage a couple of one-act plays in an amateur production at Questors (Wikipedia, Questors website ). After an exchange of assorted messages, I met up with Tom on Sun 14th Jan in First Out (curiously, his first visit there). we got on pretty well, and I agreed to SM the shows – two one-act plays by Jimmie Chinn (“Interior Designs” & “Too Long an Autumn”.)

I went to a rehearsal over in west London a few weeks later, and met Fran, who was directing the shows. I had a phone call from her a few days later, saying that the person who had been due to operate the lighting had dropped out, and would I consider being the board Op. for the shows – they had a lighting designer, but he was not available for performances. I was happy to agree to this.

Get-in was Sun 11th. Quite a lot of hanging about, then I watched while the seating rostra etc were cleared to allow tower access to the lighting grid. Richard (the lighting designer, and also an OUT member) was pretty out of it, having had no sleep and an excess of alcohol, the previous night … most of a rig did go up, but a few bits got missed out (like re-plugging assorted House Lights that had been unplugged for the previous show), but he wasn’t in a fit state to plot any states. Eventually, I agreed that I’d plot on the Monday, during the tech. if someone would get me copies of the scripts! This is actually something that I really hate doing – trying to think into some else’s LX design is hard work, and without really knowing the shows it is almost impossible to produce anything good (let alone that it was an LX board I’d never seen before and which had no instruction book!). As a result, the tech on Monday was grindingly slow, but everyone was very understanding about things. It became pretty clear that the rig was very short of lanterns to do several jobs – deeply frustrating for me: even three years ago I would just have come in a bit early and rigged some extras, but I am completely incapable of using an access tower – or, indeed, of lifting and hanging a lantern at arms length. I did manage to find one lantern to do a major job of side fill already rigged, which I patched up, and Mark (a cast member, and also an OUT member) agreed to focus for me on the Tues before the dress. Bless him – it made a big difference!

Lighting and sound were from a perch position, accessed by something that wasn’t quite a ladder and wasn’t quite steps – pretty awkward really, and not good for me to nip up and down to check on lighting states (especially frustrating as the show was “in the round”). However, I got on very well with Ellie who was sound op., and the shows went off pretty well. I’ve discovered that I really need to wear contact lenses for a show, and can then look over the top of reading glasses to see the stage, while having reading glasses for the script. Fortunately, I have a vast number of daily-disposables left over from the days when I have a regular delivery of them set up, when I used to wear them for work.

So, things I learned form it all? That I really enjoy the process of production, and that I’m happy working with amateur companies. That I do really find it frustrating to be unable to do any of the physical stuff, but it’s a frustration that I can cope with. That I have have the kind of face that makes people trust me – I was handed the keys to the space and kept them for the week. That I can JUST manage the physical demands of a production week and performances – I was totally at the end of my physical resources by he end of the week. That, actually, it’s something I want to do more of, and I’ve said that I’m available and willing for future shows.

Things that followed on afterwards – I’ve exchanged assorted OUT messages with Mark, and we’ve met a couple of times for coffee at first Out. I enjoy his company, and maybe we’ll take in a show or two – he says he rarely does Fringe stuff, so maybe we can explore that.

coffee posse

The first OUT Walthamstow coffee posse was this morning. It took me a while to find the place – I must have walked past it three or four times. There were half-a-dozen of us there, all in our 40s and 50s I think. I actually enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I was going to (though I probably did more than my fair share of talking – I tend to when I’m nervous).

One guy (V.) was fairly quiet in the coffee bar, but opened up as three of us walked down towards the tube: he seemed like a nice guy, and we’ve subsequently exchanged a couple of messages on OUT. I don’t think I’m his type, though.

As AWK had a day to kill in the london area (due to threatened British Airways strikes, he’s come over a day early for some re-qualification exams), we managed to meet up. The first one-on-one meeting we’ve had since 1976, I think, and long overdue. His e-mail to ex-MCS describes it thus:

Today I didn’t visit the Tate Modern. But I did hook up with Nick (of the Weeks variety) with whom in an alehouse close by Victoria Station the world was partially (but due to lack of time not entirely) put to rights.It was decided that renewing old friendships (and thereby putting the world to rights) was far more important than my appraising modern artworks, which may be out of date in the next twelvemonths anyway. An important executive decision was also taken to arrange a get-together of a small splinter group of the Ex-MCS ’72 crowd some time this year. Those concerned probably know who they are already: to those who don’t know who they are, please continue studying Zen philosophy. Especially regarding the smell of carpets being burned by soldering-irons.

One other thing that made me realise how times have changed: a guy sitting at a table two along from us calmly skinned up and smoked a medium-sized joint in the pub while we were sitting there. This is entirely unremarkable in large areas of London nowadays, but was obviously a bit of a novelty for Andy! Thirty years ago, we would both probably have skinned up ourselves – but neither of us has smoked the stuff for many years now. AWK still smokes camel, however – they used to be my brand when I smoked. He was initially a bit apologetic about smoking in front of me, but it really was not an issue: good news, as this was the first one-on-one social thing I’ve done with a smoker since i gave up in March last year.

Casablanca

from a mail to the ex-MCS group:

I was off-line over the weekend – the weather and other gremlins screwed up my cable connection. I actually found it a bit scary to realise quite how much I missed it – as I’m a bit restricted in my ability to get out much at the moment, the internet is pretty much of a lifeline. Still, it beats daytime television. Actually, most things – including watching paint dry – beat most television!

I went to see the restored film of “Casablanca” last Friday – a movie I’d only ever seen on TV and hadn’t ever really rated that highly. Seeing it for the first time on the big screen at the National Film Theatre, in an immaculately-restored print, was a real eye-opener: the depth and subtlety of the lighting, and the superb acting. The only drawback was (as with so many of the 40s films) just about all the characters chainsmoked – I got my first really bad attack of nicotine craving for about six weeks. Still, over ten months smoke-free, so I’m not about to start again.

All there is to add is that the person I went to the NFT with was David Joy, a film student I’ve met through IOMFATS, and the event was an OUT event organised by Yragael. Afterwards, David & I had a long chat in a dubious coffee bar at Waterloo, and he eventually caught the last train home.